66 Hot Dogs: The Price of Immortality

Yesterday, a cornerstone of Independence Day celebration threatened to overshadow all other festivities as the titans of competitive eating converged on Coney Island to stuff their faces with wieners.

Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, a tradition of nearly a hundred years, is the Super Bowl of competitive eating. I myself could never aspire to enter this contest due to my allergies to pork, turkey, and chipmunk, but that doesn't embitter my appreciation for these gurgitating gladiators.

Consider Takeru "The Tsunami" Kobayashi, the Tiger Woods of Major League Eating and six-time champion of the Nathan's event, who takes this profession as seriously as one can. His bun-dipping ingestion technique (the "Solomon" method), his crowd-pleasing digestive technique (The Kobayashi Wiggle), and his metabolism-boosting weight training are among his winning ways. When he talks eating, he talks strategy, dedication, and focus, establishing himself as the sport's driving force to worldwide awareness.

What seems to have people talking this year, however, is that an American has toppled the little giant. Joey "Jaws" Chestnut is our new Star Spangled Champ, scarfing a record total of 66 hot dogs to snag the Mustard Belt. 20,394 calories closer to death, Chestnut finally donned the prize around his temporarily bulging waist, but can he maintain an impressive Takeru-length tenure, himself, perhaps having to loosen the belt a couple notches over the next several years?

As for Takeru, the deposed emperor of Nathan's, he has now brought shame to his family, who will imprison him in a bamboo cage until he can reclaim his title in 2008.

This contest gets quite a lot of air-time on ESPN, which, like the National Spelling Bee, implies a curious association with the broader world of athletics. There's certainly more coverage this year than the last, perhaps going further to legitimize Major League Eating within mainstream America. Can a celebrity pro-am be far off? Would you then envision what I am envisioning -- a doubles BBQ Ribs showdown of ChipBurger Simpson and Shaquille O' Neal vs. Sonya "Black Widow" Thomas and Kate Moss?

Though it boasts several international stars, competitive eating is still perceived as an overwhelmingly American sport. It could certainly benefit from further global expansion, possibly staging eat-a-thons in venues as far-reaching as Somalia or North Korea. Think of the exposure! Indeed, promoting awareness of competitive eating in those areas would do wonders for the sport, as contest attendance should see a really nice boost.