Aftermath

The morning New Life Church services were televised today, and I watched them. I can say that I was mostly impressed with the proceedings, as the New Life pastors told their congregation what they needed to hear.

“Forgiveness defines us,” [Interim pastor] Parsley said. “I believe in the divine destiny of New Life Church...We have been a place where broken people can get healed.”

“It is OK to be angry. It is OK to grieve. It is OK to be sad.”

In terms of compassion, this church is putting its money where its mouth is. They're right when they say that this is the opportunity to show the world that they can forgive someone who has betrayed them beyond comprehension. This is what they kept referring to as their "test".

Haggard didn't make a personal appearance at the service, and he had one of the church overseers read his apology letter, which can be found here in its entirety. Among the most striking and important pleas he makes of his Christians is this:

Please forgive my accuser. He is revealing the deception and sensuality that was in my life. Those sins, and others, need to be dealt with harshly. So, forgive him and, actually, thank God for him. I am trusting that his action will make me, my wife and family, and ultimately all of you, stronger. He didn't violate you; I did.

He realizes that Mike Jones, risking ridicule and jail time himself, came out and told the world what he was. Haggard didn't. Also, it bears repeating that Pastor Ted's not passing the buck. And if there's one respectable quality about his apology, it's that he is holding himself 100% accountable for his sins... whatever they may be.

But the apology's vagueness makes no mention of the felonies of soliciting a prostitute or buying methamphetamine. Haggard's most specific description of his transgressions only emerges when he admits he is "guilty of sexual immorality."

So this is what worries me most: the grieving New Lifers will harbor more anger for the homosexuality aspect of the trysts than for the actual crimes Haggard committed in the process. In fact, this whole scandal will only reinforce their perspectives that homosexuality is damaging to society. It was damaging to the New Life society, wasn't it? They lost a leader and a teacher, it would seem, because of it.

But here's the reality. In the letter, Pastor Ted admits that he'd been having these thoughts for years and years -- before he became New Life's leader, before he had children, before he married. That's why it worries me that Christians will believe that homosexuality destroyed Ted Haggard's life, and not that he willingly built a life around his homosexuality that could only be destroyed.

Many, many people credit Ted Haggard for what they say are positive changes in their lives. I hope these same people can remember that it was perhaps a gay man who counseled them the whole time.